Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dreams of the Future...

Welcome to Summer Rant pt. 2: Yearning for a Bright Future.

Today I may or may not have offended someone. I heard them say "Yeah, I'm down. I've got no job and school's out so I'm free whenever." Jealousy rose and overflowed from my mouth and I turned and said, "Some people have all the luck!" This streamed forth after working over 60 hours in the last week. Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly thankful to have such a great job in such uncertain economic times, but I miss freedom. Summertime is supposed to be a dose of freedom, but sometimes it feels a lot more constricted than it should be.

Earlier tonight a guy told me about a journey he had been on around the world for 2 years on a boat. He challenged me, asking "in the biography of your life, what do you want to have done?" Another man challenged me, saying "who would you want to reach out to in a significant way?" When I had a chance to really think about it, I came face to face with a simple answer: I so desperately want to break out of America for a year or so. I want to see places and meet people and experience things that I simply cannot here in the good ol' US of A.

More and more I keep watching others travel to distant lands and come back with so much more life in them, such a fire in their hearts. I know that I want that. The only question is how? Where shall I go? I most definitely don't think I'd like to live on a boat for 2 years, but then who knows? If that's the only way then I will do it. I am staying home, saving money next year. What will I do with those new resources? That is the prayer that will be firmly imprinted on my heart. God, my heart is open and willing. Send me where you want me to go!!


I guess until then, all I can do is slow dance.

Here's a poem to be shared and shared again, written by a young girl in a hospital in New York:

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Leaving.

Oh the bittersweet taste of summer. It is so beautiful, temperate, green (and other lovely synonyms for general gorgeousness) and yet...

I always feel like I am one step behind where I should be. By that I mean I am moving back into my parents house. There are a lot of pros and cons to be considered here, but it's still kind of a letdown.

Pros:
-I finally get a room to myself. For the first time in... 4 years? Well I mean I guess last year should technically count because Jessie was in and out so often that most nights I was by myself.
-I get the car! Sure, it's over a dozen years old, but it's better than the bus! That also means that I will definitely be able to visit more people more often.
-No rent! No groceries, no electricity, etc. Again, that means that I can afford to travel, and maybe save up some money for when I move back out on my own.

Cons:
-Living a lot further away from school, church, etc. That means a lot of traveling and trying to find parking.
-Leaving the East Side. I will leave a piece of my heart there, I think. It's just such a great place to live, to be able to walk to school, to church, to so many great places AND the lake. I'll miss my neighborhood and the beautiful house that I lived in.

So a lot of pros, and a few cons that I will have to find my way around. The possibilities are endless though. All I can say is BRING IT ON!